it’s the small things God does. it really is. air. water. a tasty meal made by a loved one. shelter. family. friends. a best friend, the kind who understands and accepts your craziness. acceptance. a smile from a stranger. a bit of good news. a burst of laughter from deep within the soul that makes a tear stream. a hug. interlocked fingers. a kiss. a message of care. a song. and that good kind of sadness. the tug of hope. and also a random act of kindness. the smell of someone baking brownies, cake, or an apple pie. a brief and meaningful connection that will probably never be seen again. the end of a long day. a sigh of relief. a photograph that takes you back to a happy day. the wind. the snow. the rain. bare feet. no pants. taking off your bra. a warm bed. a good book. a cup of tea. holding a baby. scratching a dog’s ears. letting a cat sit on your lap. an unexpected surprise. squeals of joy. seeing a new country for the first time. meeting a you from another mother. the beach. mountains. a group photo. singing until six in the morning. dancing until you drop. waking up to the sun on your face. and taking the time to appreciate it all. the small things.
It’s hard. I know. Worry. Anxiety. Doubt. Confusion. Maybe even desperation and a dash of hopelessness. It’s a soup with terrible ingredients and yet we still gulp it down as if we had no choice. Eat or die. Gun to our heads. Trickling tears.
Our minds sometimes float away from our grasps and slip right through our fingers like water. They take on a life of their own and think whatever they want, despite how many times we try to move our minds here or there. It’s frustrating. And we give up too easily and let our thoughts roam in places of hurt: points of failure, missed chances, wrong decisions, past mistakes, lost loves, disappointments, verbal vomit from people who have no idea about the truth and so on and so on. It’s a never-ending spiral to darkness that is a second skin right on top of us.
It doesn’t have to be that way. Of course not. Letting go isn’t some mysterious art. It’s accepting a way of being.
I read some things and realized something: I need to let go of the future. Now, before it’s too late. I don’t want to keep thinking about what will happen next. As long as I’ve done my part, I’ll take notice of the moment that’s right in front of me and swim deeply in it. The future looms with possibilities as countless as the stars above. I don’t want to waste time counting them. I’ll just enjoy the view up above and bring my gaze back to earth to enjoy the people around me.
To live. Smile. Laugh. Make someone laugh. Help someone. Be there for someone. Exercise. Learn a new language. Be happy for no reason at all. And to fight, fight, fight. And never give up no matter what. I sense more good things than bad so I’ll hold on to these feelings as I go about my day and allow myself to be a better person.
How about you? How do you let go of the future?