Tag Archives: hardship

When Everything Goes Wrong

2014 hasn’t been kind to me so far, which bites because 2013 wasn’t a blast either. I’ve been on a failing streak with one setback rolling in right after the other. Just when I think life has decided to give me a shiny gold coin, it pulls it right out of my reach before I can take it. Lucy would’ve been proud. And of course like any normal human being, I’ve buckled under the pressure, cursed the gods, and experience internal torment. Thankfully it’s not my style to stay broken and buried. Even if I have to claw my way out of this grimy pit, I will get out. Strangely enough misery motivates me to change whatever hasn’t been working.

First thing I did was get a haircut. I have this strange ritual where I cut my hair as some sort of external display of rebirth. I look in the mirror and see the new look, thinking about how I’m going to change. But that’s just 1% of the work needed to transform my situation. Usually my gut reaction to my problems is to leave the country. Runaway and teach English in some far off country where I don’t have to think or deal with any of the demons back home. Sadly, I’ve grown practical and can’t bring myself to do such a thing. Running away won’t help because my problems will follow me wherever I go. They live in my head, which last I check isn’t detachable. So what do I do?

Create opportunities. Work harder on my craft. Remember that the bad times won’t last forever. Be a better person to my loved ones and the people around me. Exercise regularly. Eat better. Get help in the form of a therapist. I’m pretty sure I’m holding my breath underwater and it won’t be long before I drown. So I have to keep all these things in mind to move forward and attain the life I want to live. To remember that life is worth living no matter my environment or my circumstances. Life is worth living.

What do you do when everything goes wrong? Would love to hear your thoughts!

Stay amazing,

Sammy

A Brief Word of Encouragement

When you’re fighting for your dreams, you have these really bad days where you doubt yourself and think that you’re an idiot for chasing what many call a folly. Negative words drip one by one and float around your head like ghosts haunting you. Loser. Stupid. Mess. Alone. Useless. Shut-in. Crazy. Irrational. Mindless dreamer.  And you internalize all these words and feel compelled to give up and become one of the masses. To join the fold of regular people who are making an effort to survive in this harsh world of ours. But that’s not you. Much respect and power to the hard-working people of the world who labor and toil to make a living, but that’s not you. You don’t want to work for someone; you want to build your own project, your own company, your own brand, your own empire. And it takes vision, sweat, ridicule, and moments like these where a dense fog of crushing self-doubt obscures everything you once could see clearly. Don’t relent to that fog. Don’t give in to the self-doubt and abandon the dream that means the world to you. The dream that is the world to you. This is where you live. It’s where you work. It’s where you feel most like yourself. So, don’t give in. It’s okay. The darker the days, the closer you are to the light. Don’t forget. It’s always the darkest before the dawn. And you’re never alone.