It’s a new year and I want to experiment with a new series for my blog. I call it Get Over the Small Stuff. In 2014, I experienced big rejections and disappointments that manifested into a raging cloud of bitter anger. I exploded and shot lightning over the smallest or most insignificant things. Anger is a powerful emotion and should be used sparingly. I believe it has its place such as fighting for your rights or against injustices. However, anger is unnecessary for situations where all you need to do is breathe, be aware of your negative thinking, and walk away with peace in your heart. Otherwise, it will lead to suffering and take away from your happiness.
This is what I strive to achieve for 2015: inner peace, true peace in which my external environment does not affect or disturb my mind in a negative way.
But to do this, I need to be aware of the things that set me off, truly understand why they set me off, and debunk the negative myths surrounding the things that set me off. So let’s start with what used to be one of my greatest anger inducing, insignificant things: late text replies.
Have you ever texted someone only to wait a day or later for a reply? This drove me crazy in 2014 to the point where I wanted to erase the people who did this from my life. Forever. Super late text replies stirred up so many negative feelings and thoughts in my head. I felt angry, rejected, disliked, and disrespected. I thought that the person either didn’t care about me or didn’t think I was important enough in his or her life to reply to in a timely fashion. Sometimes I conjured up ideas that the person was deliberately trying to hurt me, especially after I texted a question, waiting impatiently for a reply. In fact, I would feel this way after six or more hours of not getting a response. Other times I took my own sweet time replying to a text from said person as a form of revenge. Once I lashed out at someone in a hateful, hurtful message for not replying after a few days. Turned out he hadn’t his phone with him the whole time. Felt like a total heel afterwards.
All of this negativity from something so insignificant created worse feelings of self-doubt and low self-esteem, which created unnecessary suffering. I made it all about me, creating myths about how people were trying to hurt me or how they hated me. I felt like I didn’t matter. But that wasn’t the truth. All of these negative thoughts were lies, lies, lies.
The truth is sometimes people aren’t in a position to reply as quickly as I want to and that’s okay. Even if they can reply quickly, but just don’t feel like doing so, that’s okay too! Hell, sometimes people forget they’ve received a message! I don’t need outside affirmation in the form of a quick text reply to cement my worth or make me feel better about myself. I matter without any of that. I matter because I say so, not because of anything happening on the outside. I am loved and most importantly, I love myself. My cup is already full because I make it so through my own efforts and thoughts. I don’t need anyone or anything from the outside to make it full; the good stuff from the outside just makes it overflow. I also don’t need to resort to revenge to make the other person feel crappy. I should always strive to treat others how I want to be treated, which is why I respond to messages as quickly as I’m able to.
So now when I send a text and someone takes his or her sweet time to reply, I don’t sweat it. I’m over it. Anyway, the people who really matter always reply in a timely manner or apologize for giving a late response, and those are the people to keep close.
How about you? How do you get over the small stuff? Would love to hear your responses.
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