I asked God why He waits until we’re broken to come save us. Why do we have to be curled up in the arms of darkness and weeping tears to fill its insatiable thirst? Tiny tremors surround our hearts. It becomes difficult to breathe, difficult to live. Give me a reason. Give me a reason to continue, we shout in the darkness. Our bones crush under the weight of our sadness, helplessness, and pain. Our muscles screech in response to any movement and beg for stillness. I don’t care anymore, we say in surrender. I’m so tired. Too tired to care anymore. What’s this life that I should care for it?
It’s true. Sometimes I want to give up. Most of the time I want to run away and live someplace far far away from my responsibilities and those I should take care of. It’s so selfish, but it’s true. I sometimes think only of what I need instead of what others need. And then I hate myself for thinking this way. And then I don’t know what to do or what to think. Sometimes I just don’t have any answers.
Something in the darkness speaks.
Why are you so downcast? Why does your soul weep? Look, is it so hard to take stock of what you have and be grateful? Of what keeps you alive? You call me cruel. What then should those who have not a fraction of your blessings call me? Be encouraged. Stay strong. I am with you. It is so hard to be patient? Open your eyes and see the beauty in your life. Look for it. Cherish it. Nurture it because it’s not only your life that you put in peril when your flirt with death, but the lives of so many others who need you and care for you.
Among all things, live. Live mightily and fearlessly.