Sometimes we have these days where everything that can go wrong, goes wrong, or where every thought that flutters around in our brain is this onslaught after onslaught of negativity that makes us feel like screaming or at least trying to run away from ourselves—I’ve tried it and surprise surprise, it doesn’t work.
I’ve discovered that I’ve been wasting a lot of time trying to find people who can support or encourage me. The problem is that I don’t like telling people my problems because I don’t want to come off as someone who unloads on others and thus annoys them. People are really busy and the least of my intentions is to annoy people. This may not be a healthy way of thinking because I should be able to talk to my friends when things are dark and gloomy. Maybe it’s that fierce independent streak in me.
What do I do instead? I social media the hell out of my social networks through posting interesting articles, liking other people’s posts, commenting, and so on in hopes that I might get attention from someone, but it never goes according to plan because being indirect doesn’t always work. The best approach is the direct approach, but as I said, I don’t feel comfortable enough bothering people with my problems. I have this thing where I don’t really believe it when people say that I can talk to them about anything. Although I want people to believe me when I say they can talk to me about anything. Weird. I know. And something I need to work on. So, sometimes I do social media with askew intentions, but other times I do it because I genuinely like sharing and reading other people’s information. I’m an information hoarder.
Anyway, I’ve found one outlet for when I have these darks days and need to get out of my mud of despair that actually works (and is less time consuming). It worked so well that I was able to finish the last 2500 words of my book in one sitting, which hardly ever happens. Usually I squeeze out 1000-1300 words because I’m one of those edit-as-she-writes writers, and two or three hours later I become exhausted writing and editing just 1300 words. Trust me, don’t be one of those writers if you write. Just write and edit later. This is another thing I’m working on. I’m actually editing right now as I write this post. Hopeless.
SO, what is this thing that I did that worked? Well, one night the frustrations of life weighed upon me—you know, the usual culprits reminding me of everything I lack in life for someone my age. Well, I sorta mentally slapped myself and opened a new document on Word. I then proceeded to write a letter of encouragement to myself. I wrote about all the things that were right in my life, along with all the things that I had, which many people didn’t have. I also told myself to buck up because a great future waited for me. I was a woman with a mission, goals, dreams, and enough determination and inner motivation to get through the muck and mire of whatever is trying to stop me.
I may be a slow moving train, but I’m a train nonetheless so watch out obstacles, negativity, and excuses because you’re all about to be run over.
I read this letter to myself twice (and edited it even though it was for my eyes only) and felt so much better. Not just so much better for that night only, but for today too and I wrote the letter several nights ago. I don’t know why but maybe there’s something radical in making ourselves feel better. Being our own cheerleader, encouraging ourselves, and slapping out the stupid (mentally of course). We’re always being told that humans are social beings, and we need people to fulfill this or that, but as a single gal with a dash of lone wolf syndrome, it’s encouraging to know that I can help myself. I’m not saying that this should be a substitute for real people, but rather another thing we can add to help pick ourselves up.
So, whenever you’re in a deep slump, try writing a letter of encouragement to yourself. I’m curious to hear if this helps others too!