Being okay shouldn’t have to be tiring. That’s something new I’ve learned recently or rather told myself out of exasperation. Sometimes I roll my eyes when I try to look on the good side of things and other times I want to drown in the river in my backyard when I choose to wallow in negativity. Sometimes I just want to scream, “Listen! Life isn’t fair. It stinks! I don’t want to be positive because you don’t understand how I feel right now.” Or “Stop complaining you big baby! Things are going to get better! Just sit your butt down, write something valuable, and stop pitying yourself. Get over yourself, dammit!”
I swear I’m not crazy.
I’m just somewhat a little over the top when it comes to private conversations in my head. I split into three: negative, positive, and neutral. The positive side of me does a lot to keep the negative side in check while the negative constantly bombards me with unnecessary fears and anxieties. And then there’s neutral me who has to endure the fights between the gloomy, self-pitying negative side and the upbeat, everything-is-great positive side. My neutral self pushed back against these two opposites and said to the real me, the one writing this post right now, “Stop thinking and just do.”
And there it is. Some days, maybe most of the days, we really just need to stop overthinking life or how to overcome the negatives with just some good old fashion action. I think there’s a good verb for it. Oh yeah, live. I can’t believe how much time I’ve wasted on thinking on the bad points of my life or trying to think my way out of negative thinking. In the midst of all that thinking, I forgot to live, to do, and enjoy the things that I loved and felt passionate about. Or worse, I managed to suck the joy out of living because of overthinking. I made living a chore when it really should have been something more akin to breathing.
So today, I’ve challenged myself to stop thinking and just do. Of course it’s impossible not to think because I’m human and thinking is human, but I can think smarter, in a way that doesn’t put the brakes on living and doing and achieving. So maybe what my neutral self really wanted to say was, “Think smarter and just do.”
Yeah, I’ll take that.